Hello, Companions! I know, I know, it's been forever and a half since I last did anything, but there will be more updates in the near soonish, or something. Anywho, remember that Bad Fanfic Contest from like last year or someshit? This one
, perhaps? Well, it's back, bitches, and badder than ever! Or something like that. I don't know. Here goes nothing-or other, I guess!
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to bring me the absolute WORST Doctor Who fanfics you can find [others are ok, but the prizes are different] And if you are lucky enough to find the ickiest, most vomit-inducing piece of shit on the internet, you'll be the happy recipient of 10 [count 'em, 10!] art prints of your choice, signed by yours truly, plus I'll draw ANYTHING you want for you. [even 'ships! Just no sex, plz.] Second place gets 5 prints, third place gets 3 prints. 4th, 5th and 6th place [if there's more than 10 contestants] will get 1 measly art print. Sorry. You can send in any number of fanfics, but be aware that if you send me one that has already been sent in, I'll only count the first submission. If there's a tie, I'll be nice and give both people their fair prize. Prizes for non-DW or Doctor Who crossover fanfics are 5 prints for 1st place plus a commish, 3 for 2nd place and 1 for third place.
The fics will be scored with a few types of criteria:
1. plotline [or, rather, lack thereof]: the less of a plot the story has, the better [for your chances of winning, anyways.]
2. canon breaking: the more non-canon shit is involved, the more infuriating the story becomes. look for these things especially: non-canon 'shipping [or better yet, non-canon sexual orientation!], screwing around with timelines [yes, I know DW is a time-travel-based thing, so this can be a bit fidgety, but remember, this is scored on horribleness, not stuff making sense. If this was supposed to make sense, it wouldn't be a DW contest.], non-canon powers, 'shipping between enemies [I've seen it, and it's ick-tastic], Mary-sue shit [OCs are great, but bonus points if the canon characters become sues as well!] and anything that just makes no sense [even for DW] NOTE: Crossovers, such as Wholock, are kind of different. Definitely not canon, but they're supposed to be. But still, crossovers can be crappy too, so have at 'em. Especially Wholock related 'ships. Super ick.
3. 'shipping: I know I went over this some in canon breaking, but it bears repeating. Bonus points for explicit sex scenes, yaoi, yuri, and general non-canon promiscuity. [for example: 11 is far less interested in 'ship than 10 is, but 10 definitely Kirks less than Harkness, etc.]
4. Bad grammar/spelling/etc.: This really needs no further explanation.
5. major OOC: If 11 is suddenly interested in Amy, or 9 starts getting all weepy over everything, something is wrong. OOC is evil. Bad, bad OOC. [minor note: for those who don't know, OOC=out of character.]
6. annoying OCs: OCs are sometimes alright, but many are insufferable twats. Therefore, they are fantastic to mock. Set phasers to stun on those bastards.
7. weird genderbend: this is also rather self explanatory as well, not to mention incredibly subjective. Just go with your gut instinct.
8. General horribleness: if I haven't listed it and it just seems wrong-ity, have at it.
1. the doctor lies. everyone knows that one.
2. this is ENTIRELY subjective. If I happen to like it, it gets less points. But you have no idea what I will or won't like, so honestly just fire away.
3. IF YOU SUBMIT YOUR OWN FANFICTION YOU *WILL* GET EXTRA STUFF IF IT RANKS IN THE TOP 4.
4. That being said, if the fic is a parody, it doesn't count.
5. DO NOT USE THIS CONTEST TO BULLY OTHERS. If I find out that you are being an asshole, not only will you be disqualified but I will also flag you to the admins on dA. Bullying is not ok. Mystery Science Theater is not bullying, just for the record, as it is not malicious toward the author, but more towards stupid people in general.
6. The fic DOES NOT have to come from dA, but it MUST NOT be a file that needs to be downloaded. I'm not that stupid, hackers.
7. NO ATTENTION WHORES. NO BAWW OR BUTTHURT. NO WHINING. NO EXCEPTIONS.
8. You do not need to pay me for your prizes, but I would like if you don't have it mailed directly to your home. PLEASE do not comment your address, PO box or any other personal info. Email any sensitive info to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Be safe on the interwebs.
9. IF YOU WANT TO OPT OUT OF THE PRINTS FOR SAFETY REASONS, FEEL FREE. I'll just do more requests. It's totally cool.
10. DO NOT SUBMIT COMICS. Only text is accepted, as these are for parodies and MSTs. I can't edit a comic like I can text. They are appreciated, but won't count.
11. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS CONTEST, FUCK OFF. We don't care about your hormone-based "fandom." If you don't like it, you don't have to listen. Out of sight, out of mind. See, isn't that better than just giving us all a headache?
12. IF THERE ARE LESS THAN 5 CONTESTANTS, THERE WILL BE NO PRIZES. So tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your watchers and tell your companions! And hide yo husbands, 'cause there's disturbing fanfics out there.
Submit the fanfics in the form of a link in the comments, it'll be easier to sort them out that way.
So, anywho, send in as much shit as you want, I'll be ecstatic to see what you guys find.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
That was the old edition of the contest, so I figured that I'd add some more shit to make this new one better! More criterion! More prizes! More general shit that I can't think of the words that describe them or someshit!
1. Wholock and SuperWholock fics will be scored the same as any plain DW fic. Because Wholock gets really wierd and SuperWholock shouldn't even be a thing.
2. BONUS POINTS for DoctorxHimself, MasterxHimself or (ugh) MasterxDoctor. These ones are always... well, let's just say, interesting.
3. BONUS POINTS for kinky shit!
4. BONUS POINTS for insufferable Timelord OC's!
5. BONUS POINTS for Kirking!
6. BONUS POINTS for alien sex!
7. If there are < 6 contestants, the top two will get the big prizes. Otherwise the prize rules stand.
8. Trollfics will be accepted, but they will be rewarded a bit differently. First place gets 2 prints and commishes, 2nd gets 1 print and 2 commishes, and 3rd place gets one of each.
AND ANOTHER THING.
These lovely people have already sent in their suggestions. They will be counted as participants, and their fanfics have been considered, i.e. any duplicates will be redacted.
From dawnflower8 This is a trollfic, but I couldn't resist sending it to you: www.wattpad.com/25291199-the-c…
From spkdog www.fanfiction.net/s/9326829/1…
Two subs from Kaito-DreamMaster www.fanfiction.net/s/9813047/1…
And a few more that were dead links
Anywho, any new fics are appreciated,