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About Varied / Hobbyist Member the DoctorOther/United Kingdom Groups :iconepiccrossovers: EPICCROSSOVERS
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I kind of want to re-write Katy Perry songs to be more intellectual. I'm either having one of those episodes or just really fucking bored.
  • Mood: Distracted
  • Listening to: Katy Perry
  • Reading: Stiff
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: SSBB
  • Eating: Jelly Babies
  • Drinking: Tea
So here are some of the titles of my school essays:




  • Mood: Confused
  • Listening to: Deadmau5
  • Reading: Stiff
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: SSBB
  • Eating: Jelly Babies
  • Drinking: Tea
Hello, Companions! I know, I know, it's been forever and a half since I last did anything, but there will be more updates in the near soonish, or something. Anywho, remember that Bad Fanfic Contest from like last year or someshit? This one, perhaps? Well, it's back, bitches, and badder than ever! Or something like that. I don't know. Here goes nothing-or other, I guess!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to bring me the absolute WORST Doctor Who fanfics you can find [others are ok, but the prizes are different] And if you are lucky enough to find the ickiest, most vomit-inducing piece of shit on the internet, you'll be the happy recipient of 10 [count 'em, 10!] art prints of your choice, signed by yours truly, plus I'll draw ANYTHING you want for you. [even 'ships! Just no sex, plz.] Second place gets 5 prints, third place gets 3 prints. 4th, 5th and 6th place [if there's more than 10 contestants] will get 1 measly art print. Sorry. You can send in any number of fanfics, but be aware that if you send me one that has already been sent in, I'll only count the first submission. If there's a tie, I'll be nice and give both people their fair prize. Prizes for non-DW or Doctor Who crossover fanfics are 5 prints for 1st place plus a commish, 3 for 2nd place and 1 for third place. 

The fics will be scored with a few types of criteria:

1. plotline [or, rather, lack thereof]: the less of a plot the story has, the better [for your chances of winning, anyways.]
2. canon breaking: the more non-canon shit is involved, the more infuriating the story becomes. look for these things especially: non-canon 'shipping [or better yet, non-canon sexual orientation!], screwing around with timelines [yes, I know DW is a time-travel-based thing, so this can be a bit fidgety, but remember, this is scored on horribleness, not stuff making sense. If this was supposed to make sense, it wouldn't be a DW contest.], non-canon powers, 'shipping between enemies [I've seen it, and it's ick-tastic], Mary-sue shit [OCs are great, but bonus points if the canon characters become sues as well!] and anything that just makes no sense [even for DW] NOTE: Crossovers, such as Wholock, are kind of different. Definitely not canon, but they're supposed to be. But still, crossovers can be crappy too, so have at 'em. Especially Wholock related 'ships. Super ick. 
3. 'shipping: I know I went over this some in canon breaking, but it bears repeating. Bonus points for explicit sex scenes, yaoi, yuri, and general non-canon promiscuity. [for example: 11 is far less interested in 'ship than 10 is, but 10 definitely Kirks less than Harkness, etc.]
4. Bad grammar/spelling/etc.: This really needs no further explanation.
5. major OOC: If 11 is suddenly interested in Amy, or 9 starts getting all weepy over everything, something is wrong. OOC is evil. Bad, bad OOC. [minor note: for those who don't know, OOC=out of character.]
6. annoying OCs: OCs are sometimes alright, but many are insufferable twats. Therefore, they are fantastic to mock. Set phasers to stun on those bastards.
7. weird genderbend: this is also rather self explanatory as well, not to mention incredibly subjective. Just go with your gut instinct.
8. General horribleness: if I haven't listed it and it just seems wrong-ity, have at it. 


1. the doctor lies. everyone knows that one.
2. this is ENTIRELY subjective. If I happen to like it, it gets less points. But you have no idea what I will or won't like, so honestly just fire away.
4. That being said, if the fic is a parody, it doesn't count.
5. DO NOT USE THIS CONTEST TO BULLY OTHERS. If I find out that you are being an asshole, not only will you be disqualified but I will also flag you to the admins on dA. Bullying is not ok. Mystery Science Theater is not bullying, just for the record, as it is not malicious toward the author, but more towards stupid people in general.
6. The fic DOES NOT have to come from dA, but it MUST NOT be a file that needs to be downloaded. I'm not that stupid, hackers.
8. You do not need to pay me for your prizes, but I would like if you don't have it mailed directly to your home. PLEASE do not comment your address, PO box or any other personal info. Email any sensitive info to me at Be safe on the interwebs. 
9. IF YOU WANT TO OPT OUT OF THE PRINTS FOR SAFETY REASONS, FEEL FREE. I'll just do more requests. It's totally cool.
10. DO NOT SUBMIT COMICS. Only text is accepted, as these are for parodies and MSTs. I can't edit a comic like I can text. They are appreciated, but won't count.
11. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS CONTEST, FUCK OFF. We don't care about your hormone-based "fandom." If you don't like it, you don't have to listen. Out of sight, out of mind. See, isn't that better than just giving us all a headache?
12. IF THERE ARE LESS THAN 5 CONTESTANTS, THERE WILL BE NO PRIZES. So tell your friends, tell your enemies, tell your watchers and tell your  companions! And hide yo husbands, 'cause there's disturbing fanfics out there.

Submit the fanfics in the form of a link in the comments, it'll be easier to sort them out that way.

So, anywho, send in as much shit as you want, I'll be ecstatic to see what you guys find.

That was the old edition of the contest, so I figured that I'd add some more shit to make this new one better! More criterion! More prizes! More general shit that I can't think of the words that describe them or someshit!

1. Wholock and SuperWholock fics will be scored the same as any plain DW fic. Because Wholock gets really wierd and SuperWholock shouldn't even be a thing.
2. BONUS POINTS for DoctorxHimself, MasterxHimself or (ugh) MasterxDoctor. These ones are always... well, let's just say, interesting.
3. BONUS POINTS for kinky shit!
4. BONUS POINTS for insufferable Timelord OC's!
5. BONUS POINTS for Kirking!
6. BONUS POINTS for alien sex!
7. If there are < 6 contestants, the top two will get the big prizes. Otherwise the prize rules stand.
8. Trollfics will be accepted, but they will be rewarded a bit differently. First place gets 2 prints and commishes, 2nd gets 1 print and 2 commishes, and 3rd place gets one of each.


These lovely people have already sent in their suggestions. They will be counted as participants, and their fanfics have been considered, i.e. any duplicates will be redacted.

From dawnflower8 
This is a trollfic, but I couldn't resist sending it to you:…

From claythecrazydragon1

From spkdog…

Two subs from Kaito-DreamMaster…

And a few more that were dead links :( Anywho, any new fics are appreciated,

  • Mood: Welcoming
  • Listening to: Deadmau5
  • Reading: Stiff
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: SSBB
  • Eating: Jelly Babies
  • Drinking: Tea
So, MLG gamers... *sigh* Where do I start? I could go on about them for ages, but it all comes down to one thing: they're not REAL gamers. Here's a comparison:

[MLG column]|[proper gamer column]

Has an Xbox Live account. | Has a steam account.
Hates 10-year-olds. | Plays as 10-year-old prize fighters and/or psychic yo-yo ninjas.
Uses an AK47 in ranged combat. | Uses the Hero's Bow in ranged combat. Or fireballs. Or, well, a lot of other things.
Hates old games because their "graphics suck." | Plays fucking Minecraft and doesn't whine about it.
Listens to loud Rap or crummy rock music while playing, ignoring the soundtrack altogether. | Can play the Lost Woods theme on an actual Ocarina.
Hates playing other consoles because the buttons are confusing | Prefers no specific controller, as they are good at all of them. Unless they're playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl. 
Thinks Nintendo is a "kiddie game company" and avoids it like the plague. | Is aware that Bayonetta exists.
Knows all the stats from every gun in COD | Knows all the stats of all the Pokemon to date.
Uses violence to get out of dungeons. | Uses TM28 to get out of dungeons.
Collects ammo. | Collects stickers, trochees and CDs.
Can't play when the server is down, so reloads XBL. | Can't play Ocarina of Time because it won't load, so blows on the cartridge.
Uses an aimbot to cheat. | Uses a Gameshark to cheat.
Uses shovels for hitting. | Uses shovels to dig up Rupees.
When someone mentions "squeakers," they become angry. | When someone mentions "squeakers," they start jonesing for some Kirby.
Generally use paper to wipe their ass. | Generally use paper to go on an epic adventure through the Mushroom Kingdom.
Hates glitches, because they tend to end up with them falling off the map. | Uses glitches to obtain items, catch rare animals, and skip through major portions of Zelda games.
Couldn't spell their way out of a paper bag. | Knows how to write in Dragonish, Dwemer, Daedric, Unown runes, and Hylian.
Dragons=Bad. | Dragons=Weak to Steel type.
Ghosts=Bad game. | Ghosts=Shy, Unaffected by Normal type.
Uses bullets. | Ducks under giant bullets.
Smokes weed. | 1-ups.
"HAHA!! REKT, FAGGOT! AND I DID UR MOM! U FUCKIN' WOT M8? LOL1!! N00B!!!" | "Your princess is in another castle!"
Mountain Dew. | Golden Chu Jelly.
Doritos! | Maxim Tomatoes!
Pink=ghey | Pink=Black hole chef-warriors, Intensive fairy units, HP walls, Guildmasters with an affinity for apples, Cake-making royalty.
Bats=(awful) Detective ninjas. | Bats=10-year-old psychic Yo-Yo ninjas' melee weapon of choice.
Beans=Boring. | Beans=Fury-having, oddly charismatic, crazy motherfuckers.
#SWAG. | "Your current balance is 1,333,337. How may I be of service?"
Dark=Bad. | Dark=Weak to Bug-type.

To be continued (probably.)
  • Mood: Rant
  • Listening to: Lost Woods Remix
  • Reading: Stiff
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: SSBB
  • Eating: Jelly Babies
  • Drinking: Tea
I come here to write a journal on my problems with the American government, because all of my family live in the states and it disturbs the living fuck out of me, and the FUCKING WEBSITE IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. WHAT THE FUCK dA!?
  • Mood: Disbelief
  • Listening to: Black Sabbath
  • Reading: Stiff
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: Skyrim
  • Eating: Pie
  • Drinking: Tea
I kind of want to re-write Katy Perry songs to be more intellectual. I'm either having one of those episodes or just really fucking bored.
  • Mood: Distracted
  • Listening to: Katy Perry
  • Reading: Stiff
  • Watching: Doctor Who
  • Playing: SSBB
  • Eating: Jelly Babies
  • Drinking: Tea


Souls Bottle by BloodfangTheGreen
Lalna by BloodfangTheGreen
For ~cecywillbe21: Marshall Lee by BloodfangTheGreen
For ~kohaku1666 by BloodfangTheGreen
Furry Fur Fur by BloodfangTheGreen
I will draw characters for you! See my gallery for more of my works so you get what you want. I wouldn't want someone buying stuff from me that they didn't like :/  


the Doctor
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United Kingdom



The First Doctor

William Hartnell

:iconfirstdoctorplz::iconsaysplz:We're always in trouble! Isn't this extraordinary - it follows us everywhere!

The Second Doctor

Patrick Troughton

:iconseconddoctorplz::iconsaysplz:Oh, my giddy aunt!

The Third Doctor

Jon Pertwee

:iconthirddoctorplz::iconsaysplz: Courage isn't just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway.

The Fourth Doctor

Tom Baker

:icontomblplz::icontombrplz::iconsaysplz:Would you like a jelly baby?

The Fifth Doctor

Peter Davison

:iconfifthdoctorplz::iconsaysplz: An apple a day keeps the... Ah, never mind.

The Sixth Doctor

Colin Baker

:iconsixthdoctorplz::iconsaysplz:Change? What change? There is no change... no time, no rhyme, no place for space, nothing! Nothing but the grinding engines of the universe, the crushing boredom of eternity!

The Seventh Doctor

Sylvester McCoy</h3>

The Eighth Doctor

Paul McGann


The Ninth Doctor

Christopher Eccleston


The Tenth Doctor

David Tennant

:icondavidtennantplz::iconsaysplz:People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.
:icondoctorwhoplz:Oh yeah, and Allons-y! :D

The Eleventh Doctor

Matt Smith

:iconmattsmithplz::iconsaysplz: I am being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point in having you all?
:iconbowtieplz::iconsaysplz:bowties are cool.
:icontrollfaceplz::iconsaysplz:No they're not.
:iconangrydoctorplz::iconsaysplz:YES THEY ARE!
:iconriversongplz::iconsaysplz:Is this guy bothering you, sweetie?
:icontrollfaceplz::iconsaysplz:Oh Shit.



Oh yeah, almost forgot sherlock!

I know these people irl: :iconfirelorddarkskull::iconwhat-may-be-lost::iconthe-max765::iconsamahazelmana::iconzealousyzahhak::iconparadoxprophet::iconmangafreak14::iconmsdevildawg: :iconrebelliousangel666:
Current Residence: Gallifrey
Favourite genre of music: anything political/ feel inducing
Favourite style of art: shinies
Operating System: Aspergers OS
MP3 player of choice: the TARDIS
Favourite cartoon character: the 10th as portrayed by Kevin Bolk
Personal Quote: Imagination is more important than knowledge-- Albert Einstein
Favourite word: Dapper
Favourite show: I'll give you two guesses.
Current companions: :iconfirelorddarkskull: :iconwhat-may-be-lost: :iconthe-max765:… <== DO NOT CLICK HERE!

no need to thank for the fav, you're welcome here anytime :D :D :D :D

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Journal History


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The-Max765 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2014
Sherlock's opinion on Bieber...

crazyartist12 Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh no! the Fangirls! They know my biggest scerct!
The-Max765 Featured By Owner May 5, 2014
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014
:iconstegosaurusplz::iconsays3plz: I am a stegosaurus!

No you're not. You're a Jurassic period sauropod.

:iconstegosaurusplz::iconsays3plz: Awwww.
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2014
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014
My comments are OVER NINE THOUSAND!
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
Oh god... Oh god... Someone here made Brutal Legend fanfiction starring... Nickelback. Yes, Nickelback. It's disgusting. Read at your own risk...
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2014
FYI I found Brutal Legend and Skyrim!
cecywillbe21 Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconrainbowbummiecakeplz: happy b-day :3
derJOgelle Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014   General Artist
Happy birthday Kel Happy Birthday Cupcake 9th bDay cAndle 4 dA Kao Emoji-16 (Happy Birthday) [V1] 1st Emoticon: Happy Birthday Sini Birthday Free Birthday Icon Birthday Glomp emoticon 
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