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About Varied / Hobbyist Alice H.Other/Unknown Groups :iconteaminvader: TeamInvader
 
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I finally got more drawing paper so I don't need to draw on the tiny, shitty journal that I've been using. YAY~!
PROLOGUE: A New Assignment

Job dossier: Skyrim Alpha-1.05, 4E 201
Job description: Eliminate the encroaching threat of Alduin the Worldeater, Lord Harkon, and Miraak the Dragonborn
Do: Assist the Stormcloaks, Collect as many Daedric, Dwemer, Akaviri and Dragon Cult artifacts as possible, Help as many people as possible, Cultivate the Thieves’ Guild and College of Winterhold, Work to make Skyrim a more prosperous and happy country
Don’t: Destroy Molag Bal, assassinate the Emperor, Lose your weapons, Destroy the Dark Brotherhood, Die
Assigned Smashers: Marth, Ike, Roy, Link (OoT), Robin, Lucina (busy this week)
Notes: Boys, this is a big job. I’m counting on you all to get it done and get it done right. I’ve been able to depend on the first three of you to dispatch dragons with the right amount of discretion and common sense before, and as much as I technically plan for the worst, I have a hard time doing so when, considering your track record, there is no reason for me to expect you to fail. Marth, you’ve been to this universe a few times before, and the ties you have to and the knowledge you have about the legal (and less-legal) systems in the Elder Scrolls universe should come in handy.
Ike, I’ll say this. I’ve been to Skyrim. You’ll fit in well. Marth or Roy, please read this to him.
Roy, I have been looking for a job like this for you for a while. You can use magic in this universe, if my calculations are correct, and I figured you would be up to helping out your friends.
Link, you’ve been a dependable member of this team since we first began and as such I expect you to thrive on any mission I see you fit to do. Your skills will work splendidly in this universe, and the boys really needed someone with a bow to back them up.
Robin, you have experience with undead, world-ending dragon incidents and dark magic. You do not, however, have experience with big assignments. Good luck and don’t disappoint me.
In closing, I’ll add this: the Salesman will be accompanying you all on your trip, but only because he needs to do some other things in this timeline. He will inevitably help you, but don’t expect him to be there every time you need you hands held.

--Signed, Dexter Timaeus.
” Marth cleared his throat loudly, startling Ike out of the nap he was beginning to take and snapping Roy’s attention back up from the puzzle cube he was trying to solve for the second time since Marth had walked into the room, crisp new dossier in hand. “Was all of that clear?”
“Clear as the namesake of notoriously unobtainable Pokemon games.” Roy said, cheerfully. Maybe this would be a fun mission. All his friends were going, so why shouldn’t it be?
“Something about a new job, Dexter being chronically impressed by us, blah blah, I got the gist of it.” Ike said, still ready to succumb to his oncoming food coma.
“What are the ‘don’ts, at least?” Marth said, sternly.
“Other than the usual? Destroy Molag Bal, assassinate the Emperor, or destroy the Dark Brotherhood. Am I forgetting anything?” He said, as if he knew anything about the context.
“No, actually.” Marth said, skimming the aforementioned category to double-check. “Very good. I’m going to present this to the other members of our presumptive team, you take a power nap and you get something to eat. I will return shortly, be ready to depart.”
“Bye, Marth.” Ike said, yawning and waving simultaneously as he snuggled sleepily into the soft blanket on the couch. Roy set the puzzle cube down on a copy of The Bardic Treatise, Sixth Edition that he’d been previously reading, the only flat surface on a table populated by all manner of random crap. It must have been Toon Link’s week to tidy the common room. He stretched his arms, himself somewhat groggy from a lazy, breakfast-and-tea-free morning, and sauntered over to the warp to the kitchen. With a flash of light, he was transported into the kitchen for the mundane task of throwing a tupperware container of curry into the microwave.

Meanwhile, Marth had gathered his other teammates into the common room to again recite the contents of the dossier, much to the annoyance of Ike, who buried his face in the couch cushions to try to drown out the austere, almost shrill sound of his friend’s voice. Even with how well-spoken Marth was, his voice had a terribly prepubescent-pop-star quality to it that drove Ike nuts, and the high pitch only got worse when he was angry or flustered. Link was worse about that, but he rarely talked, unlike Marth, who seemed to be infatuated with the sound of his own voice. Why the hell else would he talk so much? Maybe Ike was just grouchy because he was trying to sleep. As the sleepy swordsman loped grumpily off to his room, Robin was already interrogating Dexter with Marth as his proxy.
“What exactly is the Dark Brotherhood? Who or what is Molag Bal? Who or what are the Stormcloaks? What is a--”
“One question at a time, Robin.” Marth said, resisting the urge to put his hand over the mage’s mouth. If anyone talked more than Marth, it was Robin, ever inquisitive of people without answers. “And I don’t know if you know this, but the subjects of the dossier will most certainly make themselves apparent once we arrive. In the event that they don’t, we can always look for answers when we get there. And honestly, I’ve no earthly idea of what half of the things mentioned are. You’d do well to ask Dexter.”
“Fine, fine. I just thought since you’d been there, and all…”
“I was in Morrowind and Cyrodiil to the East and South of Skyrim, respectively, and that was two-hundred-or-so years before this job takes place. The closest I’ve been to the province of Skyrim was the island of Solstheim, in the northwest of Morrowind, over which the two provinces fought. I have little intention of going back there, it’s terribly cold and the Fryse Hags are a bitch to deal with.”
“Okay, I’m gonna pretend like I know what you’re talking about.”
“My point is, I know very little about what we’re in for. All I know is that there’s going to be dragons, and I don’t recall there being dragons in this particular universe.”
“So it’ll be an adventure.” Link said, quietly as always, a look of excitement on his angular face. Marth nodded, looking as aloof as he could whilst feeling every bit as excited as Link looked.
“Indeed it will. Pack warm clothes, Skyrim is very cold. And bring plenty of equipment, this realm is treacherous and unforgiving to say the least.”
Super Smash Scrolls V: Skyrim
Roy cry Y U NO COMMENT

I know both of the games in this fic are super outdated but IDGAF. This story has been years in the making and I'm not just going to scrap it.

Content belongs to content creators
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[EDIT] I changed the title from "When MRA's Attack!" to the current title, since the current one sounded more fitting.

I was on youtube the other day, and found a tasty bit of troll bait. Read on if you are curious as to how an idiotic, homophobic MGTOW gets #rekt. Everything in [brackets] is commentary post-convo, for clarification. My on-screen name is Syd Derp. Feel free to find me on google plus, I never use it. Everyone is going to be anonymous so that bullying doesn't happen.

This is the video I commented on:
Rejected Comedian’s Nasty Texts Become Public


(Me, original comment)
He could be any flavor, but he chose to be salty.

(some guy)
+Syd Derp Bruh lol

(some dude)
+Syd Derp No laughs at the laugh factory that night *air horn*

(some funny dude)
+Syd Derp The Dead Sea is the saltiest place on earth... next to his bitch ass.

(some girl)
lol

(some person)
tightey whitey for sure

(douchebag)
+Syd Derp Being salty is not a crime. Chicks reject me and I instantly call them lesbos. Natural reaction. Haha. What about chicks that reject dudes before they even ask them out or are even interested in them. Like ur at a club and walk past a chick accidentally nudge her and she like confronts u buy saying "NO, JUST NO!". Im like sus bitches be feeling left out when they have no one to reject.

(sane person)
+(douchebag) "Natural reaction"? Uh, you're a douchebag.

(sane woman) 
+Syd Derp and vinegar. :D

(me)
+(douchebag) Whew, good thing I'm lesbian. I don't have to deal with your punk ass.
[disclaimer, I'm not. I just wanted to see where this went. Spoiler: it went directly MRA hell.]

(sane woman)
same here hun :D
Newly married and so happy :D
[this woman's comments were flagged as spam by the salty douchebag. He also upvoted himself every time]

(douchebag)
+(me) I feel like most rug munchers arent lesbos by choice but because of lack of other options. What women would willingly choose 2 fingers over a dick?

(sane woman)
+(douchebag)
as a rug muncher myself I can tell you it's not a choice. I had a bf when I was 15 and we had sex but I just didn't feel anything for him but when I met my wife it was like fireworks.

(sane person)
Women who can't stand people like you.

(me)
+(douchebag) I'd take a life of abstinence over having to date a dick like you. Also, two words? Strap on.

(sane woman)
+(me)
mmmmm strap on :D

(douchebag)
+(me) I think it's the other way around. Your bitchy attitude is the reason no normal man wants you, possibly also ur face and body. The only guys uv probs been with are losers IF any one.

(sane woman)
+(douchebag)
so your saying you dated her then?  Because the only loser I see between the 2 of you is you.  And don't upvote yourself that's really tacky

(me)
+(douchebag) Making a lot of assumptions there, buddy. Methinks thou dost protest too much.

(douchebag)
+Syd Derp What the fuck is "dost"??? The fact of the matter is anyone can react to any situation anyway they want. We dont all have to prescribe to Ana Kasparian's moral etiquette based on her understanding and her moral compass otherwise we would be robots not people. This comic decided handle her rejection by lashing back at her with some mean comments. He's just a product of his surroundings and the way he's been treated. Thats the spice of life and what makes society interesting. You and Ana and Cenk think everyone should react the way you would react which I could probably predict for almost any situation and it would be boring as fuck.
Show less

(sane person)
+(douchebag) My god, you are so dumb.

(me)
+(douchebag) I'm not saying you should act exactly like me, I'm just saying you should at least finish middle school.
  • Listening to: YTPMV's
  • Reading: these comments
  • Watching: Youtube
  • Playing: Pokemon Alpha Sapphire
  • Eating: chips
  • Drinking: Ramune

Journal History

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:iconiheartknucklejoe:
Iheartknucklejoe Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Artist
Hey! Long time no chat!
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:iconbloodfangthegreen:
BloodfangTheGreen Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
indeed :3
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:iconiheartknucklejoe:
Iheartknucklejoe Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Artist
So how u doing?
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:iconbloodfangthegreen:
BloodfangTheGreen Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I've been better.
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(1 Reply)
:iconthe-max765:
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconmarfpalmplz::iconlionikeplz::iconikesaywhatplz::iconikesupplz::iconzeldafacepalmplz::iconmetapalmplz::iconroydanceplz::iconikeffffplz::iconsamusfacepalmplz::iconfalconfacepalmplz::iconpervymarthplz::iconpervyikeplz::iconpervyroyplz::iconpervyskullkidplz::iconpervyhmsalesmanplz::iconsalesmancryplz:

And... :iconnopepopeplz:
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:iconthe-max765:
The-Max765 Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
YOU NEED THESE ICONS IN YOUR LIFE. 
Robotnik scratching his PINGAS (Emoticon) Robotnik being Sexy (Emoticon) crazy hands F2U: ewe-Faced Marth Icon- Ike GFX My new avatar Ike Icon Pit Crying Chat Icon Crawl Toonlink Hai! Goodbye grandma. Roy cry SHEPHERD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!? Baguette Intensifies Nickderp Derppants King Boo is now with you Shulk on Cactus Juice Icon Kirby Emote - Eating kirby la HD Kirby victory dance 
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:iconneshirys:
neshirys Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2016
Thank you for the fave|watch by neshirys
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:iconbloodfangthegreen:
BloodfangTheGreen Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, no problem, your art is awesome!
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:iconneshirys:
neshirys Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2016
:hug:
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:iconbloodfangthegreen:
BloodfangTheGreen Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:3
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